It’s not easy being a team leader and coordinator. Hours of work, putting a team together, and then at the last minute, great excuses…
Here are some of the best – all true and collected this past week from Soccer Resort team leaders.
There’s Players with Lifestyle Issues..
• Coach says “We had an 8am kickoff and the player wasn’t at his pick up point at 7am. I called him and he replied ‘I went out in Korea town last night and some girls asked me to go to Brooklyn to play ping pong. So I went.'”
• Coach says “He had too much fun the night before and accidentally picked up some random woman’s bag from the house they were at, so instead of having his gear he had some 4th grade teachers handbook, a long sleeve running shirt and a pair of hand warmers…needless to say we didn’t sub him in.”
The Ones with Animal Incidents..
• “I ran over a raccoon”
• “I crashed into a deer”
• “I have to help my dad slaughter some goats today.” In high school I lived in a small town surrounded by a lot of farms.
• “My horse had a colic, so I had to phone the coach and tell him that I couldn’t leave for the game until my horse relieved itself”
The Downright Honest..
• “I’m really sorry, I totally forgot my cleats back at my house, so I just said f%$k it.”
• “Couldn’t find my black socks and I didn’t feel like buying new socks so I just said f&^k it”
• “Do we have enough players? My tire is flat and I’m too lazy to change it.” To be fair, he did make it to the game.
• “Oh, we have a game today?”…on the 13th Monday of men’s league on the same day
• Coach D says “Beyond the regular excuses of this one guy being drunk, having no rides/car, and the booty call excuses after a Saturday night, then “HE” has the nerve to not show up and claim he’s at church!”
• “My dog ate my cleats…No, really”
• “At least we showed up” – from two players who arrived with 10 minutes left in the game.
The Easily Surprised/Forgetful..
• When I going to a tournament in the Bahamas and at the airport, a teammate said, “Oh I need a passport?”
• Kickoff at 8, text at 745 “Sorry I just remembered I have plans with my mom for her birthday”
• On Friday: “I’ll be there” – On Sunday: “Sorry I can’t make it, I have to go to my nephews christening”
• “Oh it was at the same field as last week? I didn’t know.” – Coach says “Mind you it’s the only field we played on for three seasons”
• Coach says “We had a girl no call no show to over half of our games one season, and each week she had some crazy but entirely justifiable excuse for not showing up and not calling in advance. One week, she was in a car accident on the way to the game. We saw the damage on the car after.
One week her grandfather fell ill on his death bed and she had to fly home immediately. One week her dog went into cardiac arrest and needed emergency heart surgery. In the end she herself ended up having medical issues and had to retire, thus ending her illustrious soccer career.”
• Coach says “I had a friend of a player call me about a half hour before kickoff once to say the player wouldn’t be making the game and couldn’t phone me herself because she’d lost her phone & her wallet…and was also in the drunk tank. Whoops.”
And Then There’s the Ole Private Jet Excuse (we’ve all heard that one..)
• Coach says “We had a girl that missed the first few games because her dad was late coming home in his private jet to give her the car keys…That same day, we had another girl whose tire blew up on the highway and still got to the game just before kickoff, albeit a little shaken up.”
But then, despite the flakes, there always those that are truly dedicated who we know we can rely on..
• Coach M says “Played with a guy in NYC who flew back from France to play at a 10pm game then flew back to France to finish his family vacation the next morning”.
And last but not least..
• Coach says “On the commitment side, I have a player who got married on Saturday night and still showed up to the 3pm game the next day(Sunday).”
At the end of the day, these players are our brothers and sisters, and we have great stories for years to come. Share your best stories of unique excuses or tales of commitment – email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or comment below.